Q: 30 Year old female from New York: I just started dating this guy and he got a healthy ego as he’s top of the line in the business-world, but the second we’re in the bedroom he become’s shy and we typically have boring sex where I’m the aggressor. Is it too much to ask to that he be a bit of an animal in the bedroom like he is boardroom? How can I get him more primal?
Seeking a beast not a puppy- NYC
Zach’s Wisdom And Answer
In every shy guy there lurks a caveman that wants to throw you around, yank your hair and bend you over a table. Ok well, at least the table part. Business is different than sex, he probably overcompensates in the business world because he is internally shy. I feel for him. The Problem is that a lot guys have become overly sensitive with the women in their life (I’m sure the media plays a role- Damn you Oprah!) and believe that you want us to be gentle and kind little lambs wherever we are; bedroom or otherwise. Sometimes this is the case, sometimes it isn’t. Most people would tell you “have a talk with, tell him what you want openly”
WRONG! If you want to bruise his ego and then have a contrived sexual escapade that makes him uncomfortable, go nuts, have a talk, have open “communication” . Dudes don’t respond well to this. If you really want him to unleash you have to take the steps to bring out his sexually aggressive side, and you have to do it in a way that supports a healthy male ego. Bottom line is that you have to play the passive role, but in reality be the aggressor until he steps up.
Next time you’re fooling around- Take his hand and make him yank your hair a bit. Moan a little when he does it. Get him all riled up and excited and then stop everything and role over and stop paying attention to him until he takes charge. Make him chase you, tease him until he just wants to throw you down and rip off your clothes. If he doesn’t, keep teasing him and riling him up until he does. Basically you’re poking and prodding him in the right direction, but letting him release the caveman on his own. Other techniques can be used, but you catch my drift.
Be passively aggressive, and when it’s over, tell him how damn hot it was. Or you can just lay like a dead fish and be bored. Your call.
