June 25, 2009
askzachw
Uncategorized
binoculars, breakup, breakups, compulsive, creepy, move on, obsessive, stalking
Q:My girlfriend broke up with me 3 months ago. I have called and called and sent her multiple texts everyday but she won’t return them. I have also sent her flowers, a bunch of pictures of us and a tiffany’s bracelet, but she didn’t even reply when she got those! How do I get her to love me again and get back together with her?
Waiting in Vain- Boston
Zach’s mild fear and Wisdom
A: No response to any of that? Have you tried sitting outside of her house with a pair of binoculars and a journal that details her every action? How about writing her a nice letter that ends with “I would kill ten kittens just to get back together with you? You could also try beating your fist to your chest over and over again like Mark Wahlberg does in the movie “fear”. Yeah that could work.
Truth is stranger than fiction and while I doubt she will get back together with you, who knows maybe she will. If she doesn’t, just realize that it wasn’t meant to be and while it hurts now, it will go away. What I would recommend is to move on with your life and leave her alone. There are either two things that will happen once this occurs. A) You will get over her after a period of time and realize that it didn’t work out for a reason. During this process you may even find someone new or have some wacky adventures in the world of being single.
B) There is also the (very slight) possibility that once you leave her alone she will realize that she misses you and what you provided to her, even if it to me it seems a bit intense. In the meantime sometimes relationships don’t work and it sucks to be broken up with, but it’s not the end of the world and having a stalking charge added to your resume won’t help things out. Put the unmarked car back in the garage, erase her number from the phone and go have some less obsessive fun!
June 17, 2009
askzachw
Breakups/Divorce, Risque sex
Awesome, bisexual, bisexuality, breakup, girlfriend, mistrust, threesome
Q:I’m pretty sure my girlfriend is sleeping around. The thing of it is, I think it is with another girl. I checked her cell phone the other night and she had some really racy and sexual texts between her and a girl named Stacey. I don’t know whether to feel turned on, or cheated on? Any thoughts on how to approach the subject with her and if I find out she did what to do next?
Triangle Man- Miami
Zach’s Wisdom, Response and Jealousy
Sir- You just potentially made every male reader of this column jealous. I salute you, I salute your girlfriend and if you break up with her please feel free to let her know my email address.
I’m pretty liberal in regards to bisexuality in women. My mindset would be if a girl in my life needs to spice things up (which is doubtful) I can deal with that far better than if she was with another guy. I understand this is not the case with everybody and it’s a topic that is very subjective.
First things first, no matter what you suspect it’s not cool to look through someone’s phone so don’t do it again. Suspicions or not, it’s an invasion of privacy . 2) Before you go assuming anything give her the benefit of the doubt, they were just texts and she could just be expressing herself and her sexuality in a harmless way. 3) You already committed the crime, fess up to looking at her phone and apologize, but also bring up what you saw. Don’t be mean or aggressive about it just ask her what she was up to in a non-threatening way. 4) Depending on her answer find out if it’s something that turns you on or not. Maybe it is and maybe it’s something you guys could look into as a way to spice up your sex life. Who knows, but it’s worth a shot. 5) If it is something you feel betrayed by- Well once trust is gone it’s hard to get it back in a relationship, so maybe it’s time to move on. Typically in instances of betrayal I’d say to move on first thing, but it sounds like you might be confused and I don’t have enough information to make that call for you.
If you do decide to move on and break it off with her, shoot for that threesome first- Who knows when that opportunity will come around again.
June 11, 2009
askzachw
Breakups/Divorce, Dating
adultery, breakup, Cheating, guilt, heartache, infedilty
Question: Ok, I’ve had a boy on the side for the last six months of my relationship. I stopped it recently and want to be faithful now, but the guilt is killing me. Should I just tell my BF and hope he can understand that it’s done and over and I want to and will be faithful?
No more Guilt – L.A.
Zach’s Answer and Wisdom
Are you nuts? Why don’t you post a video on youtube of your affair and put an “Im sorry” in the credits? I’ve got a better idea. You’re obviously not happy in the relationship or you wouldn’t have been banging some other guy in the first place. Why don’t you break it off now and save both of you the heartache. I don’t care what your reasons were for sleeping around, or for not telling him what the problem was in the first place.( I’m going to guess fear of letting him how you truly feel and some deep-seated insecurities of your own) Point of the matter is that six months isn’t a mistake or anything justifiable , it’s a pattern. That pattern should let you know how you feel about your boyfriend on any conscious or subconscious level. Give it a rest, go find somebody that makes you want to be faithful at day one and start communicating with the next guy before you get yourself into the same situation. If not I can just refer you to a couple of good pool-boys or a cable-guy.
