Guest Answer Provided by John Butler. Check out John’s vastly intriguing background in our expert Bio Section.
My husband over the past few months hasn’t wanted to sleep with me and seems distant to me most days. Should I be worried that he’s having an affair?
John’s Sagely Wisdom (And in this man’s opinion awesome hair-style)
He’s a guy and we’re all dogs… So, yes, an affair is always a possibility.
But, have you talked to him? Or, are you letting your imagination run wild and making accusations? Are you letting things bother you by wondering? Are you accusing him of things? Being a little passive-aggressive? Are you being a bitch? No? Cool. I had to ask.
In my experience, the only time I have not wanted to sleep with my woman was either due to being so damn hot that I couldn’t sleep, or when I’m in the middle of a project and can’t sleep. I’ve never had an affair, but I suspect that I’d be nervous about being caught – so not sleeping with you wouldn’t be a tactic I’d use to avoid being suspected. Not sleeping with you might be stress related – an unresolved fight perhaps? My advice; check yourself internally and make sure you are not the issue (because, in the end, we only have control over ourselves and a wavering influence – at best – over others). Once that has been taken care of, are you there for him? Have you asked him what’s wrong – straight up, no games, no innuendoes, no bullshit?
Not sleeping with you isn’t a sign of an affair – not being able to perform (age and illness not being the issue), unusual marks (claw marks on his back, oval bruises on his neck…), after-sex-happy or after-sex-sleepiness when he gets home, knowing he’s gonna-get-some friskiness when he’s heading out the door… These are signs of a current affair. Not sleeping with you could be a sign that he had one, and is now having a breakout of herpes…
Talk it over. Or, like I told a female friend recently, take him to a strip club and make sure he gets several lap dances – then take him him and, well, remind him what he is missing in bed!
