GUEST ANSWER: Provided by Know-elle, get to Know-her by checking out her Bio on our experts page.
Q:My girlfriend is sexually inexperienced- I’m her second man. I’m twenty eight and used to be incredibly promisicious. I’m worried that telling her about my past will scare her off, but if I don’t it’s being dishonest and it may come up from someone else. Tell her or not and how?
Screw and Tell?- Seattle
The Wisdom and Advice of Guest Expert…Know-elle
Dear Screw and Tell?,
While I appreciate your instinct to be honest with your girlfriend – (it indicates a certain level of character, bravo!) – I must wholeheartedly shout “NO! Are you fucking crazy?! Do not tell her!” …unless she asks because if she wanted to know, she would. All it will do is satisfy your own selfish, guilty conscious which you need not have, my friend. As long as you’re sprinkling her with VD fairy dust, I think you should actually be quietly proud of your conquests and the plethora of techniques you’ve gained that you can use on her.
You’re right in thinking it could scare her off. She clearly doesn’t view sex in the same casual manner you do, and may have a hard time wrapping her head around the fact her boyfriend is a recovering manwhore. This could plant a seed of doubt in her head, and I’m assuming you’re not looking to plant any kind of seed in her, am I right? (To that end, I find it unlikely the “plethora of techniques I use to get you off” defense will go over well either.) I’ve been in this situation before and here’s how it went down:
Former Boyfriend: So have you slept with a lot of guys?
Me: I guess it depends on your definition of a lot. Have you?
FBF: Yea… 10.
Me: That’s not that many. I’ve slept with more than that… (A number well into the double digits that I chose not to share. Hey! You didn’t ask.)
FBF: What?! I can’t believe you’d do that! OMG. (blah, blah, blah, etc., etc.)
He went on to have the audacity to get mad at me AND admit that he’d actually only slept with 8 people, which if I’m not mistaken means he lied. So I went on to tell him to fuck off; for being unfair, irrational and a liar.
My point is this. While honesty is usually the best policy, sometimes offering up the truth unsolicited does more harm than good. It’s not her business unless she chooses to make it so. Keep your mouth shut.
