Question:I’m twenty five and I love my girlfriend of two years. She recently told me that she wants to be engaged in six months or she doesn’t think she can keep postponing her life and would have to move on. I’m thinking about just taking the plunge, but I’m not sure if it’s something I’m ready for. In the future yes, but six months seems too soon to me. Should I just do it so I don’t lose her?
Unsure in Chicago
Zach’s wisdom and response:
What part of life is she postponing?? Is she currently in a coma that she won’t wake from without a diamond? An ultimatum is a ridiculous and shitty thing to do, yet it happens a lot. If you’re not ready to get engaged don’t do it and let her know that! If she truly loves you enough that she wants to commit her life to you, she would respect the fact that you’ll take that leap when you are ready to. It can’t be one-sided. If she doesn’t have faith in the relationship now, do you really think she ever will? Do you think a ring will really settle anything? If she can’t respect that, than she isn’t worth your time, energy or the ring that you would unwillingly put on her finger. Besides if you do it when you’re not ready, you’ll always resent her anyways….Not a good start for what is supposed to be a life-long future. Grow a pair, let her know that you love her and are committed, but if she wants to be manipulative point her towards the door before that six months is up.
Jun 15, 2009 @ 21:28:36
Two years is a long time to be with someone and not having a clue where the direction of the relationship is going. If the guy feels too much pressure to tell her that he is not ready to marry & she wants to get married. She should leave him for someone who definitely wants the same things she wants.
May 25, 2010 @ 16:42:44
The woman is right. She’s given two prime years to the guy… if he can’t commit by now, he never will. Grow a pair and marry her dude.
May 29, 2010 @ 06:05:17
No, she’s not right. Why do people have to push towards a state mandated thing?? Marriage isn’t the answer, love is. too many people think marriage is love and it’ soooo the opposite!!!!!!